because the future is NOW

It's pretty painful sitting on a soapbox for so long - you definitely start to go numb. The problem is once you're on one it's apparently rather difficult to get off. But I don't much care to make any sort of serious comment on life at the moment. I am contemplating the shift from being unscheduled to being over scheduled and I can never tell what is enough and what is too much. There's intramural soccer (apparently we have been dubbed the Kickeros and if you get the joke I'm sorry for you) and spring league (mixed and/or women's) and venus practices and venus running practices and venus tournaments (one every weekend in april, it seems) in addition to all the normal homework and hours spent writing emails. Clearly to do all of this would be madness but as always the question is what to sacrifice. Since I can't play in the college series it's very tempting to play in one or both spring leagues but then I prevent myself from going to any non-series tournaments and make it harder to have the time to attend practices. And I suppose it speaks to my perpetual nerdiness but I do like practices, sometimes more than playing and often more than pickup. But without them would I ever get better? Evidence points to the contrary, since last year I only played in leagues and probably atrophied more than anything else. This year I'm getting more confident with break throws and have actually put up a few i/o flicks and i/o backhands in winter league games and almost threw a hammer. The fact that I even contemplated it is phenomenal. Where would I be without marker drill? Would I ever have pulled off my totally awesome huck for a score yesterday without lots of handler drills? (I just can't resist. It was probably the most perfect huck I've ever thrown to a receiver.) And I still have a tendency to underthrow people in games which I would like to chalk up to people not actually running as hard in practices as they will on the playing field, but is something I ought to recognize and react to regardless. Doing suicides with a disc is about the most helpful drill I've seen to really get people to run all-out, and give me a chance to practice. I actually feel like I've improved this year, marginally perhaps, but any progress is exciting. I've felt stagnant since I left Supersnatch - Xolo had potential but I was too tired from the track workouts to make much progress in any other situation. And for the first time in four years I can be at a women's practice and only have to concentrate on my own skills and progress. It's very liberating. Although there are times where I really really really want to jump in and say something but I hold my tongue. It's not my place, after all. At least I passed along the CrazyNomad so-you-really-need-to-learn-how-to-huck? lesson with decent success to a fellow venutian. My own, and female, Legs. Funny how I can't remember the real name of the chicago Legs. Jason something? I wonder if many years from now people will think "what was trophy wife's real name again?" although I suppose my name wasn't ever quite prevalent enough to engender that kind of confusion.
As an aside, I find the way I write is often different from night to night and it's not entirely conscious. I think I set the tone for myself by the way I write my first sentence and I try not to look back. That's not the point of this. It is in fact the opposite. Looking forward. Like my ultimate practices... like my hours in class... like when I first started playing musical instruments. Just 15 minutes a day, they'd say. You'll be better in no time - why that's already 90 minutes a week of practicing! Imagine if I'd been like Jenny and managed a whole hour every day. I would've been playing sonatas after 3 years myself. But that's looking back.
I think I will end up playing soccer, mixed spring league, and practicing with venus but not going to tournaments. I will keep writing here, I will take up the violin again, I will move on to bigger and better things. A new education, a new life. Today really is just yesterday's tomorrow, as I'm sure someone has said. Tonight I flick this out hoping tomorrow's tomorrow will always look brighter than today's.