Maladies
My arm is amazingly and inexplicably sore. One of those sorenesses that you notice when you make some unusual motion and think "well, looks like I did too much of ___ yesterday" except in my case there doesn't appear to be anything to fill in that blank. It appears that the rotating parts of the muscles, rather than just raising and lowering, are the issue which makes me wonder if I somehow managed to sleep with them twisted oddly last night, and am paying the price today. I don't recall getting in any fist fights, or moving large objects, or taking up left-handed tennis recently, and although the pain does conform to violin-playing position, that was several days ago and laughably short in duration. Thus inexplicable, I am obviously puzzled.
I ought not let this bother me, though, based on past experience. There are days when I wake up and feel like I have arthritic ankles (or at least they ache in the way I imagine arthritis feels) or hours of spontaneous (and painful) nerve twitching which I coincidently dealt with the afternoon, causing a few blocks of what I'm sure was very awkward looking walking while I clutched Ethan's hand in a death-grip for fear of my whole leg giving out on me mid-stride. I often have a knee or a shin or the balls of my feet in pain for a few hours or a day for no apparent reason. My high school cross country coach once called me, half-jokingly, defective. The good news is it appears my parts are replaceable, or at least fixable, overnight since sleep usually restores me to my previous state of hale vigor.
In high school my sophomore year I was on the track team at the bequest of the same coach, who begged me to join, explaining that the experience would help my speed-work for the fall season. During one workout I was suddenly struck with the ability to inhale, but stripped of the power to consciously choose to exhale. In the middle of a 400 repeat I stopped and stepped off the track and tried to breathe in my customary rhythm to no effect. I felt like a balloon about to pop, but every time I thought I couldn't possible breathe in more it would all rush out, seemingly by accident, and then start all over again. I was terrified. Aside from nearly being hit by a car on a run one day, it was the only moment I have seriously feared for my own life. This may seem melodramatic, but being completely unable to control your breathing leaves you entirely helpless and vulnerable to a point to which I hope never to return. Needless to say I started crying in a strained, jerky fashion (not being able to sob properly, naturally) and my coach ran over to figure out what the problem was, got me to calm down, and somehow at that point I could breathe normally again. My parents took me in to the doctor the next morning who was the least sympathetic MD I have ever spent time with, and who concluded that I probably ate too much before I went running and had an odd stomach cramp. My father, on the other hand, called up his doctor, explained my symptoms, and promptly was advised that I was suffering from exercise-induced asthma and to get a prescription for an inhaler and that I would be fine. Which of course proved to be correct, as was corroborated by my regular pediatrician when we finally got to see her.
The whole point of this is that my relief was primarily based upon the quantifiable nature of my problem. For once, someone could explain what was wrong with me and tell me how to fix it. A non-anomalous condition. While my day-to-day complaints are less threatening and transistory, their spontaneous nature is subtly disturbing. I do wonder if I have some kind of odd arthritis or other issue in my ankles, and if so what can be done for me. The days that they ache are long and uncomfortable and nothing seems to help them feel better. While I doubt this odd arm-pain is going to recur I still wonder why, and how long. At least I don't have to spend the rest of my life dependent on medication or in fear of triggering the symptoms again at every step. Maybe if I haul out the violin and give it a whirl the muscles will get stretched out again, like a recovery run, and tomorrow this will be gone as easily as the dreams I'll have had.
I ought not let this bother me, though, based on past experience. There are days when I wake up and feel like I have arthritic ankles (or at least they ache in the way I imagine arthritis feels) or hours of spontaneous (and painful) nerve twitching which I coincidently dealt with the afternoon, causing a few blocks of what I'm sure was very awkward looking walking while I clutched Ethan's hand in a death-grip for fear of my whole leg giving out on me mid-stride. I often have a knee or a shin or the balls of my feet in pain for a few hours or a day for no apparent reason. My high school cross country coach once called me, half-jokingly, defective. The good news is it appears my parts are replaceable, or at least fixable, overnight since sleep usually restores me to my previous state of hale vigor.
In high school my sophomore year I was on the track team at the bequest of the same coach, who begged me to join, explaining that the experience would help my speed-work for the fall season. During one workout I was suddenly struck with the ability to inhale, but stripped of the power to consciously choose to exhale. In the middle of a 400 repeat I stopped and stepped off the track and tried to breathe in my customary rhythm to no effect. I felt like a balloon about to pop, but every time I thought I couldn't possible breathe in more it would all rush out, seemingly by accident, and then start all over again. I was terrified. Aside from nearly being hit by a car on a run one day, it was the only moment I have seriously feared for my own life. This may seem melodramatic, but being completely unable to control your breathing leaves you entirely helpless and vulnerable to a point to which I hope never to return. Needless to say I started crying in a strained, jerky fashion (not being able to sob properly, naturally) and my coach ran over to figure out what the problem was, got me to calm down, and somehow at that point I could breathe normally again. My parents took me in to the doctor the next morning who was the least sympathetic MD I have ever spent time with, and who concluded that I probably ate too much before I went running and had an odd stomach cramp. My father, on the other hand, called up his doctor, explained my symptoms, and promptly was advised that I was suffering from exercise-induced asthma and to get a prescription for an inhaler and that I would be fine. Which of course proved to be correct, as was corroborated by my regular pediatrician when we finally got to see her.
The whole point of this is that my relief was primarily based upon the quantifiable nature of my problem. For once, someone could explain what was wrong with me and tell me how to fix it. A non-anomalous condition. While my day-to-day complaints are less threatening and transistory, their spontaneous nature is subtly disturbing. I do wonder if I have some kind of odd arthritis or other issue in my ankles, and if so what can be done for me. The days that they ache are long and uncomfortable and nothing seems to help them feel better. While I doubt this odd arm-pain is going to recur I still wonder why, and how long. At least I don't have to spend the rest of my life dependent on medication or in fear of triggering the symptoms again at every step. Maybe if I haul out the violin and give it a whirl the muscles will get stretched out again, like a recovery run, and tomorrow this will be gone as easily as the dreams I'll have had.
posted by trophywife at 7:17 PM
1 Comments:
I have bad elbows- one body part of mine that's failing that you probably didn't know about... and it sounds similar to your ankles. For me, it came from tendonitis (tennis elbow) from my tennis playing days. It still comes back. And it will turn into arthritis one day. Wow, that's cheerful.
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