I hope the farther down the hill this stone rolls, the harder it'll be to stop

I don't really know where to re-start things or how. There seems to be a plethora of choices since my silence the past few months has opened up wide avenues for recent past history as well as ruminations that might otherwise have gone unthought. I suppose I ought to do some justice to my name here, though, and fill in those of you who weren't around a bit on the whole marriage thing. Briefly. I have an appointment with my pillow shortly that I intend to keep.

So. Where we left off is hard to say. What is easy to say is that planning a wedding requires a huge amount of energy and decision-making of a sort that I hope I never have to go through again. What color tablecloths, what color napkins, what colors for the head table, the family table, the guest tables, what kinds of flowers, invitation fonts, paper color, quality, size, envelopes, guest list, seating chart (or lack of one), favors, chairs, music, photography, cake, officiant, licensing, insurance, transportation, shoes. Not forgetting, of course, all important food and wine. I didn't count the number of hours I lost to this crap although I wish I could hang it up in my apartment like a marathon race number - something to inspire a feeling of greatness in myself and awe in others... But the end result worked out okay, as far as we can tell. People appeared to enjoy themselves, we had a good time, no one passed out or got belligerent so all in all I call that a success. The funny thing is that the ceremony wasn't legally binding at all, really. We signed our names to get the license two weeks earlier at the courthouse and then handed the form to our officiant who filled it out a few days after our wedding and sent it in. That's it. Nothing at the ceremony itself - nothing to sign, to seal, to avow. That part is just for the guests, really. People ask if things have changed for us and they simply haven't in any way we notice. Emotion doesn't depend on legal documents and since our living situation didn't alter (at least not under the traditional system) our daily lives with each other interact on the same plane. Maybe I am fooling myself and subconsciously there's something new that I'll only realize at some pivotal moment in my life. Maybe. Until then, I'm content to travel on in the same path with only a new appellation to designate my changed status. It's a little odd to hear people talk about me with the word "wife" and not mean that I should make an iso cut or look up for a disc or cover my girl better on defense. I suppose I'll get used to it at some point. The being a wife thing - that I've got under control.